7 ways to quit comparing yourself to others

Social media is a highlight reel because it’s not an honest and true reflection of how life is – we all know that!

Yet it’s hard to stop the niggling feeling inside when you see someone's posted about not taking anymore bookings this year, or about a new business collaborations, all of which are large business milestones you are yet to reach.

You can’t help but question yourself and feel like you’re doing something wrong.

That feeling of shame and resentment, leaves you with that all too familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach; unfortunately, this is a common and frequent part of being an entrepreneur and businesses owner, but it doesn’t have to be!

We take a look at the journey of business ownership in our first Lexicon of Life podcast “2 businesses, 1 redundancy, countless lessons”

I’ve had my fair share of shitty thoughts and feelings after comparing someone else’s business journey online to my own. Now 2 and a half years later as a freelancer, I follow these 7 hacks to quit the business journey comparison:

How to truly quit the comparisons & live your life

Unsubscribe to the BS

Social media gets a lot of flack for being a source of negativity and self-judgement, which may be true. But we sometimes forget that we are in full control of what pops up on our screens!

If the content on your screen doesn’t serve you, unfollow and notice how your daily thoughts change. Yes friend, it's that fkn easy.

Pages we love to follow online:






Don’t jump off a bridge just because everyone else is doing it

We’ve all heard this before, typically from our parents growing up — it applies to your business too!

Just because a particular business that you admire is always posting something new on TikTok, on Reels, always showing up on IG live, has published an eBook or has their own private Facebook group, does not mean that you need to.

These can all be tools in your business but if the tool doesn’t work for you, don’t waste your energy, time, or money trying to make it work. You don’t need to be present and performing well in every corner of the internet to have a successful business!

Instead, focus on what you enjoy and what is comfortable for you.

If you’re trying to make something work that you’re not feeling, your audience will feel that too and it may be damaging to your business.

Be inspired and learn from others

It’s one of the first rules of business: be aware of your competitors and who else is in the same market that you are. However, this can be misinterpreted. It’s not uncommon for businesses to mimic other businesses' activities — even if it doesn’t align with their own business.

Instead, look at their activities, and be inspired by them, rather than echoing what they have done. Observing your competitors’ activities is a great opportunity for learning, especially if something isn't working for them.

Learn from other's mistakes before making them all on your own

Identify the why

This hack doesn’t just apply in a business sense, but also in any moments of self-doubt and comparison.

You see someone else’s success, whatever that may be, and compare your progress to their success, and then comes the wave of self-doubt, shame, and resentment.

Let’s pull back the layers and find out why this comparison triggers these negative feelings. Why does their success make you feel this way?

If you keep watching other people’s successes, ultimately, you’re moving the goal posts for your own happiness. Since now you want what they have, a new goal to reach, rather than celebrating the successes that you’ve achieved and finding happiness in that.


Write down what you’re doing right

It can be difficult to move your focus away from your mistakes, and continuously think about what you’re doing wrong; in that mindset however, you’ve forgotten how far you’ve truly come.

One easy-to-do trick is to shift your focus (and your mindset) and to start thinking about what you’re doing right.

Physically write down your achievements, what’s working for you, what has performed well — go away and create a “brag list”. It doesn’t need to be huge achievements, it can be as simple as you’ve stayed on top of your emails this week and it’s Friday (and sometimes that is a HUGE achievement in itself).

Plus, you’ll probably notice that your brag list would be longer than any list of mistakes you’ve made.

We highly recommend watching this 2 minute clip of Simon Sinek discussing how we can intentionally change our focus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W05FYkqv7hM

Ask for help

Asking for help is not a sign of failure. Let me repeat; asking for help is not a sign of failure!

If you are comparing yourself to other businesses and you want to achieve something they’re doing right, why not ask?

NEWSFLASH: Your competitors don’t need to be your enemy.

Let’s move away from this outdated cut-throat mentality.

At the end of the day, your competitors are a part of the same community that you are, so support one another.

Allowing yourself to be vulnerable (and ask questions) is such a powerful position to be in; you put yourself out there to learn and to gain new perspectives, which not only fosters confidence, but also creativity and innovation.

Who knows, you may even find your new best friend in an unlikely place...


Stop beating yourself up

This is potentially the hardest hack of them all. It’s an ongoing process which can sometimes get ugly.

But let’s be blunt for a moment; stop undermining yourself!

You wouldn’t say these things to your best friend so why say them to yourself? You’re the only one in your head so why not make it a nice space to be.

By telling yourself that you’re not an expert, you don’t know what you’re doing, or what you’re doing isn’t that great is just letting the impostor syndrome win — and the only person who can pull you out of it is you.

Wrapping up...

These 7 hacks, although seem simple enough, can be challenging.

One thing to remember is that everyone starts at zero, no one posts their failures, and as effortless as something may come across, you don’t know the full story behind the scenes.

In our podcast Lexicon of Life, we cover a variety of topics along entrepreneurial and business ownership journeys, including the struggles of business comparisons!

Listen to the discussion on this all-too-common subject and follow on Apple and Spotify to get your weekly fix of small biz tips, life hacks and some relatable-as-F stories.

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